Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
