He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
