so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
