Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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