It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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