My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
