dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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