So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
