i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
