Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
