She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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