i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
