do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
