i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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