Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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