Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
