I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
