How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I didn't shave. On purpose
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
