He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
