To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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