K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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