My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I understand Curling. That high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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