I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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