Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
