Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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