Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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