i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
