Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
