She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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