I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
