Sry I called you an 8
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
