we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Someone signed my nipple.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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