id be glad to
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
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I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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