I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
