Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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