we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
