You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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