Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
