I'm lost and stupid without you.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
