Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
