so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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