I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
