Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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