had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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