I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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