So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think my moral compass just broke
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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