That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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