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I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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