We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
