You're completely useless in the revolution.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
