it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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