he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
