I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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