It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
