You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
