But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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