so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
