I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
