WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
