I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
